


The Grocery Trip From Hell

by VeryImportantDemon



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: But Patrick loves him, David doesn’t know how to function, David is a shithead, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Grocery Shopping, House ownership, M/M, Marriage, Patrick’s POV, They are actually the Rose-Brewers btw, They are domestic and its adorable, but he’s adorable, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 12:48:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19296067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeryImportantDemon/pseuds/VeryImportantDemon
Summary: David and Patrick Rose-Brewer go grocery shopping. David is not happy.





	The Grocery Trip From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I just rlly wanted to write some gay fluff w/ canadian husbands thats all

David Rose-Brewer isn’t a very patient person. Patrick knows this. Yet, for some reason, David is along on their shopping trip anyway. A shopping trip he is far overdressed for in a black cashmere sweater, skinny jeans, high tops, and sunglasses. But that’s David and Patrick is prepared for it.

 

Patrick climbs out of the car, locking the door before he closes it. Turning slightly, he sees David with his arms crossed. “Why am I here again?” he asks, frowning. “At this… Supermarket?”

 

Patrick shrugs. “Because I didn’t want to go alone,” he says, but now he’s starting to think that maybe he should’ve gone alone. He probably would’ve been a lot more effective that way. But David is here and they’re going to make the best of it.

 

“Patrick,” David whines. “This is boring.” 

 

Patrick shakes his head, laughing a little as he crosses the front of the car and holds his hand out. David takes it but he’s still pouting. 

 

“You like shopping, babe,” he says. 

 

“Yeah, for clothes,” David says. “Decor for the new house. Grocery shopping?” He pulls a face as they start in the store. “Boring.”

 

“Well, we do need food, David,” Patrick says. “A lot of things. Our cabinets are completely empty. We don’t even have salt and pepper.”

 

“Do we really need salt and pepper?” David asks. “Do we really?” 

 

“Yes, David,” Patrick says patiently. “We are adults who now own a house and we need to buy things for that house.” 

 

David rolls his eyes slightly, sighing deeply. “Fine,” he says. “I’ll go shopping with you.” 

 

“You don’t really have a choice, David,” Patrick says, holding the door open for his husband. “We’re already here.”

 

David sweeps into the store and patiently waits for Patrick who selects a cart and pulls a piece of paper out of his jeans pocket. 

 

“That’s the list?” David asks, incredulously. “When did you do that?”

 

“When you were cleaning the living room,” Patrick says. 

 

“That’s a really long list, Patrick,” he says.

 

Patrick shakes his head slightly, starting to push the cart towards one end of the store. “There is no food in our house and we have lived there for three days, David,” he says. “We need to buy food.” 

 

David sighs loudly before dragging his feet as he catches up with Patrick. He isn’t much help, badgering his husband endlessly as Patrick tries to sort out everything they need. 

 

This is Patrick’s first real home and clearly it’s David’s, too. Stocking it is going to be a challenge. There’s a lot of odds and ends, things it hadn’t even occurred to Patrick that they might need, let alone David, that they come across, so maybe Patrick lingers longer than he needs to.

 

“Paaaatrick,” David sings, reappearing at the end of the aisle with  _ something  _ in his hands. “Look what I found!”

 

Patrick turns from the shelf where he’s debating whether or not they need paprika to see his husband. “...A box?” he says, unsure.

 

“It’s tea, Patrick,” David says. “That very specific brand that you like that we can never find in town. I found it.” 

 

Patrick glances down at his list to find that tea isn’t on it. How had he forgotten that? “Thanks, David,” he says.

 

“Mm, you’re welcome,” David hums, placing the box in the cart. “Are we done yet? I’m bored.”

 

Patrick laughs, shaking his head and turning back to the spices. “Yes, we’re done,” he says. 

 

David brightens instantly but before he can actually speak, Patrick interrupts. “With this part of the shopping list.”

 

David’s face falls and Patrick can’t help but laugh. “Why must you be so cruel to me?” David says, a hand on his heart. “My own husband. My own husband, betraying me like this.”

 

“David, come on,” Patrick says, but he’s still laughing. He leans over to kiss David who steps back. 

 

“You’ve betrayed me,” he says. “You don’t get  _ this, _ ” he adds, waving a hand in front of his face.

 

Smiling and shaking his head, Patrick turns back to the shelf while David carefully examines something behind him that looks suspiciously like nothing. 

 

They make it another aisle and a half down the store before David whines again. “Are we done yet?” he asks.

 

“No, David,” he says patiently. “I’ll tell you when we’re done.”

 

David heaves a sigh. “You know Stevie and Alexis are watching the store, right?” he says.

 

“I trust Stevie,” Patrick says. “You’re not getting out of this.” 

 

David sighs again, louder, so Patrick speaks again. 

 

“Do you want to sit in the cart?” he asks. 

 

David stops, frowning. “Do I want to what?” he asks.

 

“Sit in the cart,” Patrick repeats. “You’re acting like a child so you may as well act like a child.”

 

“I know you’re patronizing me right now, but I really do want to,” David says, “so I’m going to overlook that and do it anyway. Hold it steady so I don’t fall.”

 

Patrick blinks in surprise. The off-handed comment had been something to get a laugh or a rise out of his husband. He didn’t think David would take him seriously and actually do it. He holds the cart steady, trying not to laugh while David manipulates his lanky limbs into the basket of the cart. 

 

When he’s finished, his back is against the front of the cart so he’s facing Patrick, his knees pulled up to his chest, all of the items they had chosen thus far pushed towards Patrick. 

 

“Carry on,” David says, smiling cheekily up at Patrick. 

 

Patrick shakes his head, throwing a few bottles into the cart and pushing it forward. Married life with the Rose-Brewers is certainly something else, he thinks, but he won’t trade it for anything. 

**Author's Note:**

> PS if anyone wants to draw art of Patrick pushing David in the cart I’d be forever in ur debt


End file.
